Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Jordan Kramer: A DMV Driver's Test and A Jam on the Autobahn


Jordan Kramer
Hst 485
Autobiography
To this day I can recall the feelings of excitement and unease as I waited for my name to be called to take down the beast known as the driving test. With my nerves eating away from within thoughts of fleeing the DMV began to get the better of me. However before I had my chance to make a break for it my name was called and the journey was about to begin. Yet before it could I again found myself waiting, this time in my dad’s suburban for my show down between man and machine.
As the driving instructor strolled towards me in what seemed slow motion the anxiety I was feeling turned into fear. A twenty-foot walk seemed to last hours as she slowly sipped her coffee and flicked her hair to the side. Shaking with nerves I thought to myself, I am so screwed. As soon as she entered the car I knew she was not excited to be there as well. With a pointed towards the horizon and a sigh of dismay I was off to prove I was competent.
After a blown stop sign and one perfect parallel parking job she looked over and with a smile she said, “work on the stop signs, but you got it.” I knew I had over come the dreaded driving test and in my excitement I threw up a fist pump to really seal the deal. Ever since that brisk February day the road has treated me well, even though my time on here has been a limited one. Unlike many I know I was not blessed by the car gods and did not receive a car with bow on my sixteenth birthday.
As I said earlier my time on the road has been limited because of the lack of wheel I possessed. I was occasionally granted the delight of cursing down the open road in my mom’s grand caravan and that was still a rarity. Although my time has been limited that does not mean I haven’t felt the wind in my hair and seen the occasional dead deer off to the side. That is far from the truth, although lacking in hours on the road it does not mean I have not made the trips.
My most vivid and cherished memory of driving would have to be last spring when the Kramer clan took a trip to Europe. I am sure many are saying what does that have to do with anything, but it has to do with everything. See on this trip my family and I decided to visit the land of our ancestors and return to Deutschland. During this two-week escapade across the German countryside we were able to go wild and drive on the famous autobahn, this was an experience in itself.
As my two brothers and I cram into the back row of our rented Mercedes M-class we were gitty with excitement, but it would be short lived. As my father took the controls and would not stop raving about how much he loved the car our excursion began. With the windows down and hitting speeds between 100mph to 150 mph we could not be happier. After about an hour of enjoying the open road the traffic began to get heavier and heavier until we are eventually at a stand still. As this is happening I am thinking to myself what is this crap, I thought this was the autobahn with no rules and pure speed. I was soon to find out that although there are no limits on the road there are limits to the cars that we drive.
As people began pouring out of their cars I remember saying there really are no rules on this puppy. So following by example my family and I made our way out onto the autobahn, but this time on foot. As we were standing there not knowing a lick of German my father somehow befriended a truck driver who spoke broken English. For a side note here my father has the unique ability of being able to talk to anyone about anything. As my father attempted to have a conversation, which was even challenging for the man who could talk to walls my brothers and I took advantage of the situation. We began to battle for title of top soccer player in the family on the side of the autobahn. They were extremely intense matches of one on one first to score stays on and the other grabs some pine.
As our battles for family domination were underway my father somehow discovered a truck had overturned and it was going to be awhile. This meant little to me at the point because I could not allow for my younger brother to dethrone me as champion of the Kramer’s. After jiving for top spot in the family for 2 hours I was eventually unseated by my crafty younger brother and as soon as my glorious reign had come to an end we spotted traffic begin to move. As we pilled back into the car our adventure across Germany continued. As many can say they have enjoyed the limitless roads of the autobahn, only few can say they played soccer against one’s brothers on the side of it.

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